The Self Esteem Flower Pot

Elizabeth was born in the wee hours of a brisk winter morning. She was absolutely beautiful,

healthy, and sleeping soundly in the hospital bassinet. Her parents slept on the hospital bed near her.

They were young and unprepared. Frankly, they were terrified of this little bundle of treasure.

She woke up and smiled at a beautiful light filled with every color of the rainbow. She was brand new

yet saw so clearly. The creator walked up to her bassinet and leant over to speak to her smiling face. Her

parents did not stir and did not witness this beautiful moment. The creator looked at Elizabeth with such

fondness and placed a small flower pot and seed beside her tiny feet. She somehow understood him as

he spoke, He said, “this is your self esteem flower pot. It has your self worth at its roots. You must nourish,

water, and grow your flower. It will bloom into the most beautiful sight you have ever seen.”

When Elizabeth was 3 years old, her flower was starting to emerge from the soil and she immediately

was filled with worry. She was too young to take care of such an important task, She had to find someone she

trusted to take care of her beautiful little flower pot. She saw her mother sitting with her gin martini that she

always seemed to have close by and approached her cautiously. She handed her mother the pot and asked her

to take good care of it for her. Her mother reluctantly took it but the little girl failed to notice what poor

shape her mothers flower pot was in sitting on top of the liquor cabinet. Elizabeth loved her mother, even

though her mother never seemed to reciprocate the feeling.

The flower grew slowly but Elizabeth noticed the older she got the more and more her mother neglected

her pot. She had to watch her flower deteriorate. Any time her mother praised her or was sober enough to

pay Elizabeth attention the flower would grow inch by inch. However, without the love, affirmations, and

encouragement a child needs, her flower could not grow to its full potential.

When Elizabeth turned 18 her flower was in poor shape. She chose to take the pot with her

to college to try to bring her fractured flower back to life. In her care, her flower started to flourish

and even started to bloom. At times her negative self talk and the ringing in her ears of the criticism

of her parents would cause a few petals to fall to the floor.

Elizabeth fell in love! It was her first real relationship. She adored this boy Dillan so much and he adored her.

Ah, young love is such a force to be reckoned with. When he was around the flower would bloom. The

flower’s fragrance would grow strong and intoxicating. He love bombed that flower pot to where she started

to beg him to hold it when he was around. eventually she told herself that he would take better care of the

flower pot. He was elated at the offer. Dillan promised Elizabeth he’d grow the flower to its full potential. He even

exclaimed, “I will make this flower produce fruit, the most exotic kind!” Elizabeth did not remember the creator

mentioning that this was possible but the promises he made sounded so extravagant and sweet. She thought to

herself, he must be much more wise then the creator if he can make such magic happen.

Two years pass and Dillan as now locked the flowerpot in his room and placed it out of the sun on his

nightstand. One evening the young man stumbled into the apartment that they now shared with what

seemed to be a bottle of jack daniels oozing from his pore and filling the room with his breath. He shouted at

Elizabeth venomous words and called her every name in the world that would tug at her heart. He called her

lazy and boring. He resented that she never wanted to go have drinks and party with him. He criticized her and cursed

at her until she fell to her knees in tears. He soon passed out on the couch, a drunken fool. The relationship

turned toxic and abusive.

Elizabeth didn’t leave. In fact she couldn’t leave. She let Dillan control the finances to where she would have

no where to go. He accomplished secluding her from her family and friends burning bridges left and right. He knew

what to say to make sure sit down and shut up. The flower pot on the nightstand wasn’t watered in months. It

barely was a flower at all. The leaves were almost translucent and brittle. The flower drooped so low that it hung over

the pot. Infidelity happened numerously in that dark room making the flower lose petal after petal for each indiscretion.

One night Jack Daniels debuted again and Dillan struck Elizabeth hard enough to make her fall.

Elizabeth had enough. She gathered a few articles of clothing and put the flower pot under her arm and walked out

for good. Oh how brave Elizabeth was. The amount of tears she cried with her head hung over that flowerpot weeks

following the split could have filled up a pond.

You would think that Elizabeth would never give that flower away to anyone again but it happened

more then a few times. She gave it away to employers who made her make tough sacrifices for far too

little pay. She handed out soil to sour friendships and a few more toxic relationships so they could fill their

own pots. She didn’t hold much hope for hers anymore. Ultimately she buried was as the last of the wilted

flower into the little bit of soil she had left.

At the age of 32, Elizabeth WOKE UP! She decided that the only person that could take care of her flower

was herself. By talking about her struggles and all the times she gave away her pot with the hopes that others

could do a better job, she gained the support she needed. Each healthy friendship and relationship would take

small amount of soil from their pot to fill hers. She decided that there was nothing wrong with therapy and

made an appointment for that week. Her parents always said therapy is for “crazy people” and “weak” people.

They could not have been more wrong. She was strong, stronger then ever! The flower was ALIVE! The more

internal work she did for herself the more it would grow.

Elizabeth found out she is pregnant! Although she just started a rather healthy relationship with a great guy,

it was still so terrifying to her. She gave birth to a beautiful baby boy named Johnathan. Her new partner

Adam was so supportive and spoke affirmations to her flower pot on a daily basis and now he was so

excited to be a father. The birth and the excitement wore them out and down they went to sleep. As they

slept the creator walked quietly to John’s bassinet. He spoke beautifully about the seed as he had with

baby Elizabeth.

At the age of 4, John got tired of taking care of such a monumental task for someone as little as

himself. He tugged on Elizabeth’s pant leg and asked her so sweetly to take his flower pot and take care

of his seed. She kneeled down to his eye level putting her hand gently on his shoulder and smiled at his

innocent little face and bright blue eyes. She told him ever so gently and lovingly,

“No baby boy, that is not something you can give away. Protect it and nurture it. No one can help it reach its full potential like you can. However, I can help you take care of it. I will speak to it everyday. I will sing to it as I sing to you before bed every night. I will tell your pot how beautiful it is and how vibrant it is. If you keep it by your side you can tell who in your life breathes life into your flower and who wants to PLUCK it’s petals. “

The boy grew up into a man with enough confidence to grow a field full of flowers.

Question for you: Can you think of a time you gave your self esteem and self worth away? You depended on others to make you feel better and feel confident? It’s ok. We all have given our flower pot away at some point in our lives. What matters is that we know when to TAKE IT BACK. You are responsible for your own self worth. Is your flower pot currently in someone else hands today? Read my upcoming blog on how to get your worth back. I believe you can grow your flower to its full potential and I have faith in you that you too can grow a field of flowers.

Author: Alina DiPalma